My Journey

The Strange Texture

All my discoveries stem from the images I captured casually while living in the United States. I stumbled upon many patterns in the background that, after a series of treatments, astonishingly unfolded into jaw-dropping tapestries of visuals, catching me completely off guard. 

From these intricate textures, I saw magnificent landscapes, grand city ruins, beautiful woodlands, and countless twisting and sprawling roads, resembling the last fragments from a lost realm. In amazement, I asked myself, what exactly am I seeing? Are these sights a reality, or figments of my imagination?

To pursue the answers, I resolutely embarked on a journey of discovery. As I took more pictures and magnified and refined parts of them, I came upon even more startling revelations. Within these seemingly chaotic textures, I discerned more details, from faces that appeared simultaneously foreign and familiar, to symbols of various cultures and religions, and to nameless machines and aircraft, all of which left me profoundly astonished. Thus, I posed three ultimate questions to myself: What exactly am I seeing? Where did they come from? What do they signify?

The Journey of Discovery

Armed with all these questions, I began to search for these peculiar textures in each photo I took, continuously intensifying them, and gradually clarifying the images hidden behind the chaotic lines on top of the basic textures. The end results astonished me, for I discovered a fantastical yet incredibly real new world. This world contained men and women, monsters and deities, sorrow and joy. With a variety of vivid colors and strengthened lines, I brought the stories concealed within the chaotic textures to life on paper, transforming them into my works.

 

As a Chinese woman who grew up during an era of revolutionary ideology, I lack the understanding of Western philosophy, religion, and history that Western female artists possess. Hence, my works thus far have been interpretations of personal experiences and emotions, expressions of my own spiritual world. However, from my exploration of these mysterious textures, an entirely unfamiliar world has gradually entered my field of vision, and I truly do not know how I have managed to present these stories, as if by some otherworldly force. I have not only seen various joyful or tormented souls, but also encountered cultural and religious symbols unheard of, as well as figures and deities as if stepped out of myths and legends, all of which I know nothing about.

The Struggling Research 

As an artist, while I marvel at my discoveries, I've also fallen into profound distress because I know nothing about the images I've created. This conflicted emotion has led to a long struggle with insomnia. During countless long nights, I've been unable to calm my excited yet perplexed state of mind. Whenever I close my eyes, grandiose images appear before me: from heroes clad in armor, to goddesses dancing gracefully to majestic castles. In the silence of the night, these narratives flicker through my mind, persisting until dawn.

After suffering from insomnia, I gradually began to see that everything around me was filled with these mysterious textures. Without the need for specialized drawing software or magnification, I could easily discern various exciting images in the clouds, carpet patterns, shadows on the walls, and furniture. This realization was thrilling, but it also made me feel as if I was on the verge of a mental breakdown because my family around me seemed unable to see these astounding images; they couldn't understand or share my excitement, which deepened my anguish.

Yet, it was this very pain that compelled me to confront the three ultimate questions once more: Where do these images come from? Why can I see them? What do they truly mean? 

The Invisible Dimensions

I am a person of simplicity, and my works are visual representations of this unadorned emotion. Therefore, my understanding of science, particularly natural science and psychology, is limited. When I discussed my findings and works with a friend, he recommended a video on the British philosopher Karl Popper's theory of three worlds and suggested that I look into Carl Jung's theory of the collective unconscious, which unintentionally gave me some inspiration. In short, Popper believed that the reality we exist in is composed of three entirely different worlds: 1. the physical world of reality; 2. the mental world of reality, and 3. the world of consciousness reality. These worlds influence each other, where the physical reality determines all objective existence in nature, the mental reality encompasses the totality of cognitive beings, and finally, the physical and mental realities give rise to a world of reality recognized by conscious entities, which is the reality we currently inhabit.

Based on this theory, beyond the reality we can sense, there lies a world beyond our cognitive reach—a world dominated by spirit and pure consciousness. Could this be the source of all my mysterious images?

I continue to search for my answers within various images, whether it's the clouds in the sky, the greenery in front of the house, or the marvelous sights captured by NASA on Mars. More stories come to life on paper through the lines I sketch. If these images can transcend the barriers of time and space, from the backyard of my home to the mountains of Europe, from Earth to Mars, and beyond to the wider universe, showing similar tapestries, it cannot be mere coincidence.

Carl Jung's theory of the collective unconscious finally provided me with a breakthrough in my search for answers. In Popper's framework, there exists a purely mental world from which all conscious beings originate and to which they return after the material carrier is destroyed. This is not entirely dissimilar to the Buddhist concept of reincarnation, but the difference lies in Jung's belief that consciousness (or what might simply be called the soul) has never left the mental reality. Our individual consciousness is merely a single point projection of the overall mental reality into the material world, akin to a droplet splashed from a lake that, after a brief sojourn, ultimately returns to the entirety of the lake.

If our individual souls are projections of the overall mental reality into this universe, then perhaps other things can also be projected into our physical reality, such as Jung's collective unconscious. If the collective unconscious is a mental conglomerate, it means it can transcend time, space, and all physical realities to directly transmit a basic unit of understanding—a form of emotion—that is comprehensible to the consciousness of the entire universe. Perhaps the various images that cause me so much anxiety are the projections of this emotion in my current reality?

For this reason, I reorganized my work and discovered some interesting clues within it.

Anxiety, confusion, pain, and love have always permeated all my works, but unlike my previous works, these emotions are not a product of my personal experiences. They are collective spiritual feedback that transcends race, language, history, and beliefs. If my earlier works were simple imprints left by raindrops upon the ground, then these vivid stories are like grand scrolls created by ocean waves washing over the sand. Each image expresses the cries of countless souls, each one projects the joys and sorrows of myriad lives, akin to a 'Riverside Scene at Qingming Festival' depicting all conscious beings in the universe.

Indeed, it is emotion—this most primal and purest form of spiritual expression—that has allowed my consciousness to resonate with the collective unconscious within the mental reality, and in turn, enabled me to see those spectacular stories originating from hidden dimensions within the most basic material world.

The Law of Our Universe 

In an age of rapidly advancing science, with new discoveries and theories erupting daily in the news and on various social media, I sometimes feel as though I can't keep pace with the times. However, an explanation about entropy provided me with a new understanding of my work.

In physics, entropy represents the law of the development of things, that is, from the day of their creation in time and space, everything is in a state of continuous fragmentation and decay. For instance, a massive rock gradually crumbles to sand over the eons, or a sun in a distant galaxy collapses into a black hole or explodes as it ages. Scientifically, entropy is absolute and irreversible, thus leading to the eventual end of the universe. But can this conclusion also apply to a purely mental reality?

This led me to think about love, a common emotion that exists in all realms of consciousness. What exactly is love?

Some say love is care, offering spiritual comfort when needed; others say love is an emotional resonance that allows a person or object to achieve a spiritual communion; and some say love is a belief, a force that enables one to keep moving forward in adversity. If entropy in the material world represents fragmentation and decay, then love in the mental world is the reverse of entropy. Specifically, all negative emotions such as pain, anxiety, and fear alienate and gradually erode the mind, ultimately leading to the collapse of individual consciousness, just as entropy affects a house in reality—if it lacks maintenance, it will eventually fall apart. Love, on the other hand, can bring people closer together, like producing a resonance on a conscious level that reconstitutes the drifting collective consciousness, much like an old house that has been meticulously maintained. Despite its age, it still provides warmth.

In my works, what I see most is love. There is love for lovers, love for animals, love for deities, and love for nature, but the constant is the tenacity of love itself.

Indeed, if the laws of the universe are dialectical, then entropy brings chaos and fragmentation, while love represents order and reunion. This duality is the quintessential manifestation of the reality we inhabit. But what, ultimately, does this mean to me?

What does it mean?

I have incessantly asked myself why I am seeing these images from hidden dimensions and what they compel me to do.

Emerging from months of insomnia and anxiety, ready to bask in the joy of completing my work under the warm afternoon sun of winter, a deluge of shocking news plunged me back into deep contemplation. War, slaughter, and hatred, the three ever-present swords of Damocles hanging over humanity, have once again torn through the veil of history, laying bare the bloodied realities of our time for all to see. As a woman artist who has experienced war, it all seems too cruel, as if a drowning person who has just reached the surface is dragged back into the abyss.

The world is crumbling.

I understand now; this is why the collective unconscious resonates with me, for the mental reality of the collective consciousness hopes that through my work, I can bring love to this crumbling world. It wants me to use art, a language understood by all consciousness, to reclaim an understanding of love. Only love can prevent human society from its inevitable demise, and only love can help humanity emerge from the spiritual mire of self, discarding the various prejudices created by culture, belief, and history, to ultimately move together towards the vast 

A New Journey  

I consider myself fortunate to be able to embrace new knowledge, learn new concepts, and engage actively in thought at this age – perhaps this is the driving force behind my continued artistic creation. I am stepping into a new artistic domain, for my new works will no longer stem from my individual consciousness; instead, they will be a re-creation of stories existing in hidden dimensions, brought to life through my empathetic resonance. With my brush, I will unveil these tapestries, rich with emotional hues, to the world.

I am also deeply grateful to my family, who, despite not being able to share in the joy of my discoveries and creations, have offered me silent support and encouragement. It was through this love during my most difficult struggles that I felt a sense of belonging, which perhaps triggered a resonance within my individual consciousness, leading me to truly grasp the essence of these new works.

As an artist, I hope to share the stories I see with more people through the brush of my soul, using the pure form of art to pass on this love that transcends time, space, and dimensions to all of humanity.

This is just the beginning, my friends. As I share my insights and nascent works, I sincerely hope to receive your advice and opinions to enhance the impact and beauty of my existing and future works. If possible, I earnestly wish to organize an exhibition for these works, taking the opportunity to convey this emotional expression to more people who yearn for peace and love, using art to redeem the soul of every one of us.